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Birth and Parenting…

…And the Ability to Make a Recovery

One of the things I stress in Birthing from Within classes is how childbirth preparation is also parenting preparation. 
– Want to learn how to cope with labor pain?  Those skills will come in handy for coping with fussy babies and trying toddlers.
– Want to foster flexibility to ride the waves of whatever twists and turns your birth may bring?  That will come in handy when your ideas about breastfeeding, baby sleep, cloth diapers, etc. are challenged while traversing uncharted territory with your newborn.
– Working on bringing a spirit of compassion and self-acceptance to yourself and your partner as you do whatever it takes to get your baby out?  Oh boy, are you gonna need that one for parenting!
Another thing I stress in childbirth classes is this importance of making a recovery when you get off track.  That could mean finding your way back to a place of focus after getting overwhelmed by an intense contraction, or returning to a place of finding connection with your partner and your baby during the disappointment of an unplanned cesarean birth.
Yesterday my four year old son had an hour long knock down, drag out tantrum.  I’ll spare you the details, but suffice it to say that it all started over not knowing what he wanted for lunch.  O.o  I tried to be as patient as I could, but after a while I found myself not being my best self as a mother.
Later on when the dust had settled and his tummy was full, my son and I reconnected with kisses and cuddles and he said to me, “Can you kiss me until morning?”  I realized in that moment that together we had practiced what I always preach…we had made a recovery.
It’s impossible to be a perfect mom all the time.  Mistakes happen, tempers flare, but it’s never hopeless.  There’s always an opportunity to come together, to get back on your feet, to find one small way of showing up for yourself, for a loved one, or for your relationship.  Occasional mistakes are inevitable.  Recoveries are always possible. 
 Nikki Shaheed CD(DONA)                                                                                                                                                      Certified Birthing from Within Mentor

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